In honour of the release of our 7th issue (read it), I thought I’d pen the seven times when Aussies such as yours truly, kindly kicked your pale British behinds – next week is Australia Day after all. Though I’m possibly the least patriotic person you’ll ever meet, it still seems only right that I give a shout out to England’s Favourite Convicts, and acknowledge the ways in which they make me proud of my roots. Simply put, here are the ‘7 times Aussies did it better’:
1. That time when Granger & Co. came to town. And more specifically, his brunch options.
The stuff of food fantasies, Bill Granger’s Granger & Co. has been offering its patrons a taste of authentic Australian fare (pun intended) for years, with its expat-approved favourites including the Full Aussie and Bill’s famed ricotta hotcakes. These addictive options combined with enough avocado to poke a stick at are the essential components of a superior brunching experience. Take note, Londoners, this is how breakfast should always be.
2. That time when we introduced you to good coffee.
Standards, meet London. Whether it’s from Lantana, Flat White, Workshop or Allpress, Aussies love a good drip. A properly roasted brew is our lifeblood while bearing the city’s 50 shades of grey sky. So don’ be surprised when we make for difficult coffee date companions; our snobby palettes simply want to show you the light. Luckily the folks at Nude, Caravan and Kaffeine do, too.
3. That time when Vegemite came to Tesco.
Marmite, otherwise known as The Poor Man’s Vege, cannot and will not ever be able to compete with its more intense cousin. It literally pales in comparison to the saltier, unforgiving breakfast spread that exemplifies the same policy we apply to our drinking: ‘Go hard or go home.’ Now if only we could get Tesco to bring in Milo next…
4. That time when Australia upped its fashion game.
In recent years Australian fashion labels have gradually infiltrated the overseas market, often making London their first pitstop on the road to global domination. Arguably some of The Sunburnt Country’s best talent to appear on England’s fair shores includes Sass & Bide, Richard Nicoll, Zimmerman and Antipodium. But the stylishness doesn’t stop there. World-renowned bloggers such as Nicole Warne (Gary Pepper Girl), Zanita Whittington (Zanita), Margaret Zhang (Shine By Three) and Sara Donaldson (Harper & Harley) are also doing their bit to further Australia’s name, effectively serving as unofficial ambassadors of the booming creative field. Meanwhile VOGUE and ELLE Australia’s Fashion Directors, Christine Centenera and Nicole Bonython-Hines, respectively, continue to kill it down south. No biggie.
5. That time when we didn’t live up to every Australian stereotype.
Bogans, as they’re affectionately known Down Under, populate Australia, yes. But their fair dinkum Aussie ways have prevented them from abandoning their cork hats and BBQs to come to London. They wouldn’t dare to leave their pet kangaroo in the care of their neighbours, even if they are the Irwins. Point being, you won’t find these stubby-wielding sheilas and blokes crossing your path any time soon. You may, however, unfortunately come across a Contiki bus-load of 20-year-old gappies in Singha singlets, wait, I mean vests, yelling ‘ya dickhead’ and ‘c*nt’ at their friends. Don’t worry; that’s just because they think their mates are grouse.
6. That time when you went to a beach in Australia and you didn’t see everyone wearing the same togs, sorry, bathers as you.
Options, man: get some. Despite the borderline senseless number of retailers at the Northern Hemisphere’s disposal, any trip to sunnier climes within the EU guarantees an inevitable run-in with a scantily clad female in an identical pair of Topshop bikinis. How does this happen?!
7. Finally, that time when we out-hot’d you. And by ‘time,’ I mean always.
Whatever, Cara, Rosie, Kate and Naomi, we’ve got Miranda, Shanina, Abbey Lee and Elle (not to mention, Jess, Jen, Megan and Lara). Although babealicious beauties in London are as rare as queues in Prêt, chances are 90% of them are imported. Because, when it comes to attractive people, we grow ‘em good in Australia. Just like our mangoes.